Who am I?

Well, my name is John. Or 10k, as I’m known by online in a few circles. I’m a 41 year old single guy from Saint Paul who is really fortunate to have a wonderful relationship with his parents, sisters, and brother in laws, and adores his nephew and three nieces. I’m also very close to my Aunt who is also my Godmother, and my Grandfather who just recently passed away.

We have a very tight knit family, and I’m thankful for them every day.

I like to question things by treating the world as a classroom. I was always the kid who wanted to take something apart to see how it worked. That still applies to me in my adulthood. I like to figure out, not only the “how’s”, but also the “why’s”.

Ever since I was a kid, I’d get wrapped up in my imagination. I’ve always built stories in my head, sometimes finding myself staring out of the classroom window daydreaming. These days I’ve become more introspective than focusing on the things I used to when I was young, like making a rocket in the backyard to go into space. Now I am focused more on why I’m here, and what I can do to leave the World a little better than it was.

I’m a Spiritual person, but have never been very religious. I appreciate the traditions religions provide, and the mythologies, but I find more comfort and Faith in my family, or the inherent goodness of people, than I do anything organized religion has really ever provided for me. Perhaps I’ve lost my way, or perhaps I’m angry for the people that have been taken from my life. Both could be true, but neither feels true. I think it is just because I choose to challenge my views and constantly question things. I was the 10 year old kid in my religion class challenging the Priest by asking why there were no dinosaurs in the Bible.

I’ve always been a free thinker, but I think I’ve become more so as I get older and move into a new phase of my life. Perhaps I’ve just put my thoughts to different use than asking Priests about dinosaurs, anymore. But the questions are the same as they’ve always been. I want to know “why” and “how”.

Buddhism, and the introspective thought that accompanies it, have provided me with more calm and Peace than I have ever experienced. It is more of a life philosophy than a religion for me, but I think that is its point. It is what you make of it for yourself. There really are no rules. It is different for everyone.

For me, it has just put me at Peace with myself internally. For someone who had been emotionally turbulent, confused, and isolated for a very long time, it was a real life changer when this overwhelming calm began to come over me. My life changed.

Abraham Lincoln once said, “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that matter. It’s the life in your years.” I’ve come to take a lot out of these, and other, simple words of wisdom. These nuggets of truth are what our previous generations have left us. It is up to us to use what they have learned and passed on. It is our responsibility to make the world just a little bit better, because maybe the secret of life is in sharing what we’ve learned to help improve the lives of others.

And in turn, we live forever through those seeds we’ve planted.

So this blog will be a sharing of thoughts, ideas, and general observations about life, while I live it, and learn how to love in it. And to plant some seeds. As insignificant as they may seem, one of them may take root. It is that one that makes Life worth it.

Thank you for joining me.